Out with the old...

Don't you just love garage sales? Actually, I love the END of a garage sale day. All the junk is gone (sold or drug out to the curb for the trash truck), a little extra change in your pocket, and extra room in your house! I love clearing out the old...and in this case, making room for the new. As I price old Rescue Heroes and trains and toy trucks, I smile knowing that I am making room for dolls and tea sets!
No new news on the adoption front...just correcting papers to show my new passport number and waiting on our I171-H. Maybe the garage sale will fund some of what I had to spend getting my passport corrected! :)
By the way, Grant will be manning a lemonade stand, if anyone wants to bring him some business!

God's Little Surprises

Yesterday was along day. Up at 5am, on a plane at 7:30am, LONG lines at the passport office. It was frustrating, especially since I was only there to correct THEIR mistake. I was dying for a diet coke, and saw a snack bar at the federal building entrance. After getting a large DC, I headed up for my appointment, only to be told there were no drinks allowed inside. It was the kind of day that makes you proud to see our tax dollars working for the people... You get the kind of mood I was in. They did get my passport corrected to read August 7, and not July 8, so I accomplished what I went to Houston for. Then I was back to the cab to catch my plane home. I got to the airport a couple of hours before my flight, and was starving (had only had a couple of sips of diet coke all day). After waiting in the security line for about 20 minutes, I walked through to the main terminal only to see a Pappasitos. It's one of my very favorite places to eat, and I was so excited! I got a fajita plate, a small margarita, and relaxed by the window reading my book for about 1 1/2 hours. For a mom who never eats alone, it was a little slice of heaven. My mood was greatly improved as I traveled back home! And special thanks to Rebecca for keeping Garrett and to Brittany for keeping Grant. We are so blessed to have so much support!

Houston, fix my problem! (Passport Part III)

I'm off to Houston Wednesday for a 10:30 appointment to have my passport corrected. Our social worker was able to check on our I171-H, and it looks like it's going to be a week to 10 days. We're just not in the mood to take any chances on the national passport office at this point, so I'm headed to Houston to take care of it in person. I'll have my new, corrected passport that same day! I didn't really like my picture on the other one anyway... Oh the lengths I'll go to to get a decent picture on my passport! :) See, a silver lining in every cloud. ha.

Are you kidding me? (Passports Part II)

The passport saga continues. I talked with a lady from the national passport office on the phone this morning and explained that I had a mistake on my passport and needed it corrected right away for an international adoption. She said I could go to the passport office with proof of travel or proof of adoption plans and get it corrected on the same day. Great! So, I load up the boys and we head to the nearest passport office (Southlake courthouse). I am told there that the only office in Texas that can make corrections is the one in Houston. So, now my options are: go to Houston this week and get it corrected, or just apply through the mail and wait 2-3 weeks to get it back. Ughhhh! Anyone want to watch the boys this week so I can go to Houston, rent a car, go to the passport office (wherever that may be), and then fly back home? :) Our social worker is going to check on the status of our I171-H today. If it's on its way, then Houston, here I come. If it's another couple of weeks out, I'll just apply through the mail...
Tune in tomorrow for more about the days of our lives! (I keep expecting to hear soap opera music in the background)

Passport headaches (Part1)

Still waiting on that I-171H to complete our dossier. However, just today we noticed a problem- my passport (that I just paid an arm and a leg to get renewed + expedited fees) has my wrong birthday on it! I'll be on the phone first thing Monday morning trying to get it corrected ASAP. Of course, that will probably be the day our I171-H comes! :) Which, by the way, would do us no good until we get the corrected passport.
Oh well, if it was easy to adopt internationally...... (can't really think of anything to finish that!). If ever I wanted a time machine...it's now. I'd fast forward a couple of months of this waiting and red tape. Wasn't I saying something in my last entry about patience? God doesn't miss an opportunity to teach it! :)

Lots of kids

Today the boys and I spent the afternoon at a friend's house for a little swim party. I say little because there were only 7 moms there. There was a time that would have been a little party. However, there were 18 kids there - and 3 of the moms were expecting,myself included - adoption counts as expecting, right (hey - I wonder if I could get away with the "expecting" parking spot at the grocery store!hehe). There is nothing little about 18 kids in one pool (did I mention the oldest kid there was 9?). They had a blast and there were no fights or tantrums, which was quite a feat, we thought! Is it just me, or is there a major trend to have larger families? Now that we go to church at Gateway, it seems that everywhere we turn someone is pregnant with number 4 or 5 or even 6. I find that these moms seem to be significantly more calm and relaxed than I am with my 2. How can this be? When I grew up, it seemed unsusual for a family to have 3 kids - 2 was more the norm. Now, sometimes I feel like an underacheiver when I say, "I have 2 boys". I know people are thinking, "and... oh - just two?" JUST two? Have they seen MY 2? If they had my two, would they have stopped at 2? Which brings me to the question - is it that their kids are easier, or is it the mom? Do these moms have God-given supernatural patience that allows them to parent so many children so successsfully? It's truly amazing to me - like this whole genre of superheroes.
On a more serious side, I make these observations, and I am so thankful to be surrounded by so many optimistic mothers. They have a lot on their plates, but they are calm and confident that the Lord will give them what they need each day to parent these kiddos. I have a lot to learn from them as I struggle not to daily lose my temper with my "just" 2 boys! It won't be long before I will join the ranks of the parents outnumered by their children. As I look at the moms around me at church doing such an amazing job, I feel blessed to be in such good company as we journey down this road to adoption. May the Lord make me one of these patient superheroes moms!

Checking the mail

Checking the mail is our younger son's, Garrett, beloved job. He is 4 1/2 and he relishes the idea of walking out the mailbox - all by himself - to retrieve the mail. It's one of the highlights of his day, actually (oh - to be so easily pleased...). Lately, I admit that I've been a little stingy with this honor. We are waiting on our I-171H (last thing we need for our adoption dossier). We expect it anytime now (during the next couple of weeks). I find myself sneaking out to get the mail without Garrett knowing because I'm just dying to find out if it came today! Then when Garrett wants to check it, I don't have the heart tell him I already did. So off he goes, only to return empty-handed. I don't think he minds, though. For him, it's the journey that's important, not the end result. Funny how adoption is the opposite - the journey is the part you endure so you can get to the end result.
I get the stack of mail in my hands (either from the mailbox or from Garrett) and I slowly flip through each credit card offer, hoping to see that official US gov logo on the return address spot...
Once it comes, Garrett can gladly resume his job without my sneaky interference! Oh let it be soon!

We are adopting

We are adopting...from Ukraine. Every time I say it, it sounds so crazy! I never dreamed in a million years that this would be a road we'd travel. The story of what led us to adoption is long and very supernatural, actually. The Lord has very obviously directed every step of this decision and continues to confirm this as his will for our family (and always in amazing ways). We have learned that God's word truly is alive and active - every day. We have also learned that God speaks in the most creative ways. It has been an incredible journey (and we haven't really started yet!).
Today was a small milestone (there are many in the paper-chasing process). I ran my last "track down a document" errand. Garrett and I went to the Fort Worth courthouse to get a certified copy of our house deed. Now it's done - our part of our dossier anyway. We are waiting for our I-171H (approval from US govt), then it's off to Austin (and a visit with Traci!) to get everything apostilled (notary of a notary, basically). Next stop - FedEx to send our complete dossier to Ukraine. Then the real waiting begins... We are praying that we get our appointment by the end of the year. You never know with intnl. adoption, but that's what we are praying for. It's amazing the volume of information needed to adopt a child when you consider what's actually required to conceive a child!
Anyway, in a nutshell, that's where we are in the process.

We would love your prayers if you have a little extra room in your prayer time...
- for favor in the actual legal process of adoption
- for God to make a way for us to go get our daughter by the end of the year
- for angels to surround her and protect her from the dark world she currently lives in
- for the Lord to be her comforter and deliverer during this time
- for protection for her - emotional, physical, spiritual
- that when we sit in that office in Ukraine to choose our daughter from a few files, the Lord makes it CLEAR which one is to be ours.
Thanks so much! Your prayers are helping to save and deliver our daughter. It means the world to us.

Old Friends

What is it about old friends? It's like family. There is a comfort level that is unexplainable and can't be duplicated anywhere else. Among my favorite old friends are Jill and Rebecca. They are the ones that know all my secrets, all my faults, all my strengths. They probably know me better than I know myself. They are the first friends I want to share a spiritual revelation with, the first friends I want to share a funny story with, and the ones I know I can count on when life's storms blow my way. My husband is the love of my life, but God knew my husband wouldn't enjoy shopping, girly movies, or long talks over lunch at the tearoom. I pray that I never take for granted to incredible gift of true friendship. God is so good!
Jill, Rebecca, and I spent the afternoon swimming with the kids at another friends house. Even after 7 years of motherhood, sometimes I am still amazed when I'm sitting with girlfriends, and we look over and see ALL THESE KIDS! How in the world did we get here? Mothers to all these big kids (no more babies)? I'm sure I'll be asking the same question when my boys get married or even when I have grandkids. One thing I know - when those days come, my tried and true old friends will be there (hehe - "old" -no pun intended). Life is so fast, so precious, and such a gift.

Here's the story...

This is the story of how the Lord led us to adoption. We believe the Lord supernaturally, through many different avenues, guided our family to this plan for adoption. We believe in the Holy Spirit, and his gifts, we also believe that God speaks to us in many different ways. (you've been warned! :)

A Hinshaw Family Testimony
Spring 2007

We have two boys, and a daughter waiting for us in Heaven, and decided we were content with what God had given us. We had no plans for more children. In early November 07, we had a miscarriage. It was unplanned, and I had no idea I was pregnant, so it was quite the mystery. I had blood work done and was told that it had never been a thriving pregnancy. That was a relief - that we hadn't actually lost a baby. What this did, though, was awaken in me the desire for another child, specifically, a daughter. The daughter we lost 8 years ago left a hole in my heart that I have learned to live with, but this incident seemed to make it more pronounced. I began praying about what this all meant. I asked the Lord for an answer, and he told me to go to his word. I opened my Bible randomly, and my eyes immediately locked on Hebrews 6:13, which says that “God promised Abraham many descendants...Abraham was faithful and the Lord fulfilled his promise”. I knew I had been given an answer. I wanted another child. I struggled with how to bring this up to Scott, who was content with our 2 boys. When I finally told him how I was feeling, he brought up the idea of adoption. This was so amazing to me, because he has always said that wasn’t interested in adoption. I, on the other hand, had always been interested in adoption, and had even pursued it as a career in social work in college. I knew for him to bring up adoption with such an open heart at this point was truly from God. Our discussion went quickly to international adoption. We decided to take some time to pray and really listen to the Lord on his plan for us.

I went back to the Lord and asked him for more answers. I felt him tell me to go back to the book of Hebrews where he had begun answering me before. I continued to read about Abraham and about what an oath from the Lord really means – that the Lord always does what he says he will do. The next part described Melchizedek, who was “without father or mother, without genealogy”. There was a need for a priest, but none could be found from the tribe of Levi, where priests were supposed to come from. Verse 16 says: “one who has become a priest not on the basis of a regulation as to his ancestry but on the basis of the power of an indestructible life”. An oath was made, and Melchizedek was made an “adopted” priest, accepted and highly honored. This entire chapter was a metaphor for adoption. We felt that God began by confirming his plan for us to have more children (in Hebrews 6), and then he used the story of Melchizedek to tell me what that would look like (Hebrews 7).

Over the next few weeks, several incidents confirmed the calling for our family to adopt. Here are two incidents that involved our children: One night, putting Garrett (age 4) to bed, I remembered something he had said about a baby a couple of months ago. Garrett has often said things that “God told him”, and they have often been prophetic. Months before, I began to write down the things that he says God told him. I got out my journal and found what he had said one night in October '07. That night, I asked him what he wanted to pray for. Garrett’s exact words that night were, “Mommy, God told me something. God wants us to pray for a baby that’s way too far away”. When I read those words and remembered that night, tears came to my eyes. I remember thinking - how sweet that God is using Garrett to pray for some random child across the world. I never dreamed that those words would mean to pray for a child that would be OURS! We prayed for the baby that night. As I remembered this night, I was so thankful to the Lord that he would use our son to speak to us. The scripture that reads “Your sons and daughters will prophesy” has often been true of Garrett, and we believe that was the case that night.

A few days later, on a Sunday afternoon, I was at the bookstore looking for books on international adoption. The lady in the children’s department was helping me find a book that would help introduce the idea of adoption to young children (meaning, our boys!). She recommended Little Miss Spider. I read it and loved it, carried it toward the check-out counter, but then decided to wait, and put it back. That night at home, I was checking Grant’s school backpack. He had library day at school on Friday, and I went to see what book he had chosen that week. I pulled the book out, and was amazed at what he had chosen - Little Miss Spider! The same story of adoption I almost bought. Out of all the books for a little boy to choose, that is not one he would have chosen without God whispering in his ear! :) I love that the Lord has used both of our children to help confirm his plan for our family. He could use so many different avenues to speak to us, and it means so much that he chose our boys. (By the way, over the following weeks, Grant brought home 2 other Little Miss Spider books - he just seemed to be drawn to them!)

After all this, I look back on the events in my own life…the calling on my life for adoption back in college (that I interpreted as a career interest)…the loss of our daughter and the ministry of compassion that followed…the birth of two boys (if we had had a boy and a girl, we might not have felt the desire for another)…the near miscarriage that brought back the desire for a child…Scott’s learning experience of growing up with an adopted brother (his experience keeps us cautious and realistic). All of these things seem to point toward this time in our lives and the call to adopt. It’s amazing to look back and see all the pieces of the puzzle come together…to look at the loss of our daughter and to finally be able to make some sense out of it, give it purpose, and give it redemption. The Lord knew he had chosen us to parent an orphan someday, and he had to refine us first and teach us about grief. The thought of parents who have grieved a daughter being able to take in a daughter who has grieved parents is overwhelming. Only God could devise such a plan!

Last summer, I asked the Lord for “theme” verse for me and for our family. He gave me Isaiah 61:1-3. I read it now, and it makes this adoption make so much sense.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:1-3

That the Lord would choose us for such a purpose is so humbling, and we are truly honored. We long for the day we get to meet the child God has planned for our family to love…to be a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor!

After looking into Russia and Ukraine, we felt a calling to Ukraine, and we feel God’s confirmation there. The whole process of international adoption is risky, and expensive, and we wanted to be absolutely sure. We have spent many hours in prayer and in research. Recently, I asked the Lord for more confirmation that international adoption is his plan for our family. I heard him tell me to go back to Isaiah 61, and keep reading…

they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

you will be named ministers of our God…

Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

From this scripture, the Lord spoke many things to us: aliens shepherding our flocks (part of our flock – our child - is in Ukraine right now), this adoption will be a time of ministry for our family; instead of shame (orphans’ future in Ukraine), a double portion (we feel this is for our daughter – 2 parents, 2 brothers, although others in our life have believed it to mean TWO little girls. WHAT?!), everlasting joy – who could ask for more? Each time we go to the Lord for confirmation, he answers. He has led us to begin this journey, and we have faith that he will finish the journey with us as well. We are praying for a little girl under the age of 5. Please join us in prayer against disease, generational illnesses and curses, fetal alcohol syndrome, attachment disorder, and the enemy in general. Pray for peace, healing, and deliverance for her. And please pray that he will lead us to the daughter we know he has waiting for us, and that we will know her when we see her. We know God is in control, and we look forward to this adventure with him!

Scott and Julie Hinshaw, March 2007

**Update**
I wrote this as our adoption journey began last March/April. March 30th, 2008 is the 9th birthday of our daughter that was stillborn. For this birthday, with God's help, we will be in Ukraine with our new daughter - redeeming the month of March for our family!