The Year in Review

2007 has been a great year for the Hinshaws! God has done so much in our lives and blessed us in so many ways. Here are some highlights...
FAVORITE VACATION (we traveled a lot, but this topped them all)
The Pinkston's church in Hawaii - check it out.
GRANT'S FAVORITE ACTIVITY

GARRETT'S FAVORITE ACTIVITY
He learned to ride a bike this year - he was so proud! (I am attempting to upload a video of it...)

OTHER FAVORITES
spontaneous trips, football, football, and more football,the water park, cousins, our new roommate this semester - our niece Kalee, adoption research :), camping, 1st grade, Museum School, our church, new friends and old, hearing God's call, and answering, watching our kids' faith grow, summer nights outside with the neighbors, grins with missing teeth, Disneyland, 13-year-wedding anniversary, receiving our March 12th adoption appointment!

FAMILY SCRIPTURE The Lord put this scripture on our hearts as he led us to the decision to adopt. We believe this is his promise to our future daughter, and it will be on a canvas in her room. It is our prayer for her, and for all orphans.
God has moved in mighty ways this year, and we can't wait to see the continuation of his plan in 2008. It will be a year of venturing into uncharted territory, but we have no doubt it will be a year of miracles! May your 2008 be filled with the miraculous as well. God bless and happy new year!

When Life is too Short

I don't know what is going on around me. Over the last 2 weeks, I have known of 3 mothers that have lost their children way too early. It's just heart-wrenching, unfair, and undeserved. One mother is actually the sister-in-law of my dear BlogFriend, April. The other two are moms I know personally - one baby lived for a couple of hours, and the other baby was a full-term stillbirth. It's weighing so heavy on me that I couldn't help but write about it. Some of you know that we lost our first child. Our Madeline Kate was born, and welcomed into Heaven, on March 30, 1999. She was tiny - just under a pound, and 12inches long. We held her in our arms, and even though she was so small, I remember marveling at God's miraculous creation. She was our first child - God took part of me, part of my husband, and part of him and created this tiny life. Though small, she was complete with eyelashes and fingernails. We have the print of her footprints, and they are the tiniest things you have ever seen..and one of my greatest treasures. I mention all of this to show how real the loss of a child is - it is going on 9 years now, and the pain and loss is still real. It doesn't go away, but, with God's help, you learn to live with it. When I hear of mothers losing their babies, I cringe for them, because I have walked that road to healing, and it is long and bumpy. I think of all they have ahead of them, and it makes my heart hurt. However, I will be the first to say that I am not the same person I was before losing Madeline. What Satan meant for harm, God really did use for good eventually. The road to healing, as difficult as it is, is also paved with comfort, love, and blessings. It's being able to truly appreciate the gift of life, and not take it for granted. It's feeling like God is just literally holding your heart together. It's also the feeling of being able to relate to how God must have felt when he gave up his child. It's feeling God's presence like never before. It's even experiencing the miraculous - when God touches your heart, and, one day, makes it whole again. So, as much as I hurt for these moms, there is a tiny part of me that welcomes them - welcomes them to this club of women who get to truly see the heart of God, and who will, one day, look into the eyes of God and recognize their own sorrow in his eyes, bonding them to the Father like nothing else can. It's not a club anyone wants to be a part of, but there is no other place to experience the Fathers love in that particular way. Please keep in mind, I say this after years of healing...there are many many tears shed before one gets to that point.
Now, I will attempt to do a service to any mother that has lost a child. I will make a list of what NOT to say to a grieving mother...
- "at least you can have another child someday" (it's NOT about another child someday, grieving is about THIS child's life)
- "God has a reason for everything" (yes, I'm sure he does, but unless you know that reason, and it sounds like it is worth losing a child over, just keep that to yourself. NO reason is worth losing a child to a grieving mother)
- "God is sovereign" (again, yes, he is, but pain and loss is NOT part of God's plan for his children. The only reason there is pain and loss is because this is a fallen world)
- "be thankful you lost him/her early and not after really getting to know him/her, that would be so much harder" (are you kidding me? Every day with a child, born or unborn is a gift, and any mother would want as many as they could get)

Good things to say/do
- use the child's name when talking with the mother. It's like music to her ears.
- say "I'm so sorry", "I'm praying for you", and then stop. There is really no need to say more. Just let her know you are there to listen.
- send her a card now, and one a couple of months from now, and another one on the birthday of the child she lost. It's hard when it feels like everyone else has forgotten your child after time has passed.
- never hesitate to bring up or mention the child she lost. You won't be "reminding" her of a painful memory. She is already thinking of the child anyway, and you are just acknowledging the child's life.
- PRAY. Ask her specifically what you can pray for for her.
- If the Holy Spirit prompts you to say or write her something specific, do it. You just might be answering one of her prayers.

Whew! Sermon over! Can you tell I have a soapbox on this topic?

By the way, in our case, God used the loss of our child to eventually lead us down the road to adoption. According to the date our dossier was submitted in Ukraine, we should have had a Feb. '08 appointment. Instead, "somehow", we ended up with a March date. We have had several words spoken over us that the Lord was going to turn the time of Madeline's death into a new beginning for our family. We will be in Ukraine, Lord willing, with our new daughter on Madeline's 9th birthday. How great is our God?!

God works EVERYTHING together for good, in his timing.

Wii had a Merry Christmas!

Santa, without Mommy's knowledge, put a Wii under our tree this year! That is just like Santa (at least the Santa that comes to our house). The boys were thrilled, of course, and it has been so much fun! If you're not familiar with it, you use the controllers to do the motions of the game. The boxing is particularly fun - and hillarious to watch. Mommy and Daddy were actually sore the next day from playing...boy, do we need to hit the gym more often or what?
Other Christmas highlights... We had my family over for Christmas Eve dinner. I made Rachael Ray's Christmas Pasta. Mmmmmm. Grandad read the kids the Nativity story and the Night Before Christmas.

Garrett (5) said our prayer at breakfast on Christmas morning, he prayed that Jesus would have a good time at his party today. :)

Grant could not have been more proud of the "gold and diamond" heart shaped ring he gave me for Christmas. It's adjustable! :) I've been wearing it with pride - green finger and all!
Lots of prayers went up this Christmas for our little girl, who is across the world from us. It was the strangest feeling being apart from the daughter we know we are meant to raise. We know that the Lord answered our prayers and found a special way to bless her this Christmas...

The Ukraine Roller-Coaster

In my previous post, I was pretty down about this family whose blog I follow. They were planning their trip home from Ukraine, without finding the daughter they hoped to adopt. They refer to their time in ukraine (about 3 weeks now) as a roller coaster ride. In the final hour, literally, they were contacted about a little girl that was available for adoption. They decided to take another chance and travel to meet her. They met her, and knew right away that she was meant to be their daughter - she was the one God so creatively led them to. With all the obstacles and red tape in Ukraine, it reminds me of what a dark and fallen world we live in. I am reminded of Daniel, who prayed to the Lord for help, only to be anwsered 10 days later. When the arch-angel, Michael, appeared to Daniel, he told him the reason for his delay. He was battling - and it took him 10 days to fight through the powers of darkness to get to Daniel. It made me wonder if sometimes our "roller-coasters" are just after-shocks of the spiritual battle being fought on our behalf. In the case of this famiy, I believe so. Read their story here. They are heading home tomorrow to be with their children for Christmas, then they will return to Ukraine for their January court date to adopt their little girl! Praise God for this great victory!

The Unknown

The riskiest thing about adopting from Ukraine is the unknown. You travel on what's called a "blind referral", meaning they don't have a specific child selected for you. You just go when your number is up and see what children are available of that given day. It's a huge leap of faith, and meant for those who truly feel called. There is a family I know online (M and T) who is in Ukraine now. They truly felt called to adopt from Ukraine and had their appointment in Kiev a couple of weeks ago. After being there two weeks, visiting a little girl who was too sick for them to adopt, and then deciding to go visit a little boy, whom they later found out was being adopted by another family, M and T have decided to come home. Empty-handed. It's every Ukraine-adopting parent's fear - coming home without the child they felt was there waiting for them. Although we are so sure of the Lord's calling, and so sure that our daughter is in Ukraine, one can't help but see how this family felt called, too. They can return for another appointment in the Spring sometime, but that's risky as well. My heart breaks for them, and it really drives home the point that no one thinks it will happen to them (coming home emty-handed), but it does happen. I have come home from the maternity ward of a hospital without my baby. I know I can survive coming home from Ukraine without a child. I just don't want to. I've had my share of "empty-handed" and I am holding on to my faith in the Lord that he will see us through this adoption, no matter how it comes about. I pray tonight for T, that God will be her Prince of Peace. That he will work this situation for good - quickly and miraculously. Tonight, I pray that God, defender of the orphans, will move mountains to unite orphans with adopting families in Ukraine, that the red-tape will be removed and the process will be smooth, and that the Lord's will will prevail. Amen.

Crash!

I had a bad car accident streak in high school and college. Really bad. I won't even tell you how many accidents I had, and, yes, all my fault. I even backed into my own roommate's car on my way to class once (sorry Traci!). I have enjoyed a 13-year accident-free run (no accidents that were my fault)...until Wednesday. I looked back at the kids for a split second, then looked up to see a car stopped at a red light in front of me. I probably would have had time to stop, had it not been raining. I slipped all over the road, and smashed right into him. It's one of those moments you repeat in your head over and over, thinking one of these times, you'll be able to change it. Know what I mean? We are all ok. We didn't hit the other car all that hard, (no airbag deployment), but you'd never know that by looking at my car. It's going to be in the shop for weeks, I'm sure. Thank God for insurance, right? :)

Jump in bed, cover up your head, the tooth fairy comes tonight!

After weeks and weeks and that front tooth "hanging by a thread", after countless family discussions of all the different ways we could pull that tooth out, and after days of avoiding any food he had to bite into with his front teeth...that tooth finally came out! He was so excited - giddy actually. We owe it all to the Mighty Kids cheeseburger at McDonalds! :)